Week 7: Sexual Intimacy & Family Life

    This week in class we had quite the discussion! The learning objective this week was to "increase understanding of sexuality, its influence upon the family structure, and proper responses to the challenges and opportunities it provides." 

    I thought it was interesting to learn about fundamental differences in men and women with their arousal and response cycles; and although that was a large component of what we discussed, I was most interested in how men and women view sexuality and the kind of impact their differences can have on a marriage and family.

    More often than not, men use intercourse and sexual conduct to feel close to their spouse. Women however, first need to feel close than engage in sexual activity, even intercourse. These general differences can cause rifts in relationships if not properly understood. We were able to break out into groups to discuss what other differences we see and how that can effect the relationship. Some of the things that were brought up had to do with love languages (the way we give and receive love), insecurities, biological factors like a woman's menstrual cycle, as well as life experiences, confidence and trust. 

    Although there may be many differences in these areas, they can turn out to be great opportunities for couples. For example, a spouse who needs physicality to feel close, should seek to express love in the way his wife receives it. If he is successful in reaching and meeting her needs, his needs will also be met. She will feel close and loved and safe, and will naturally have a desire to be physically close with him. This also goes the other way. There may be women who struggle with physical intimacy and never want to do anything and are never "in the mood." However, when we get married, we give ourselves to the other. That doesn't mean they have control of us, it doesn't mean that they can do whatever they want-- it does mean that we need to be vulnerable and we need to do things that have a great potential to bring us closer as husband and wife. It should never just be, my way or the highway. There requires an intentional effort and even sacrifice on both sides to have unity and oneness in marriage.

     If we take a look at the "natural" way things should work, it should be that men and women who sync up should be together to produce offspring and carry on with their lives. That's how the animal kingdom works! Women stick with women and raise their young, until the time comes to mate, then the males come in and impregnate the females, then leave again. The idea of marriage is "unnatural." We could even say it is something "supernatural." As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe that our time on earth is a time to not only prepare to meet God, but learn to become like Him. I believe that this is part of a plan, often referred to as the Plan of Salvation or the Plan of Happiness. Central to our Creator's plan are families. If we are to learn to become as God is, we need to learn to be unnatural, and abide by these "supernatural" laws that we can refer to as 'divine.' The law of marriage is a divine law instituted by God. It pushes us to look outside of ourselves, it helps us to put the needs of someone else far above our own, it enables us to overcome our weaknesses and the natural man within us. Marriage is not easy by any means. It is not a 50 50 partnership, it is a 100 100 companionship you enter into. It takes effort ALL the time. Believe me! But it is so worth it. If there is something missing in your connection with your spouse, it can by made right it can be reconnected and bonded! I've seen it in my own marriage. Heavenly Father wants us to become one with our spouses through our words, actions and thoughts. Sexual intimacy is only a part of it, and the power to bring children into the world is so sacred that he wants us to reserve that for a partnership so sacred and divine. 

    

    I hope you enjoyed reading some of my insights from the week! I have been thinking about the importance and sanctity of marriage ALL WEEK LONG. I love this life I get to live with my husband and our daughter. It is hard, it is fun. I feel stretched and I learn so much all the time. There really is nothing better!