Week 10: Father's & Parenthood

This week was a little controversial for some and definitely for the world we live in today. However, I believe strongly that men and women have different unique talents and attributes. These differences actually work to our benefit! They help us to learn and to grow as individuals and to create the ideal environment to raise children. I remember growing up hearing that if we were all the same we wouldn't be here. I absolutely believe that there is a perfect God who created us, and we have God given roles and abilities. In class I heard Brother Williams say, "we don't need father's to be mother's. We need father's to fulfill their role as father's." I think we should embrace our differences and use them to add to the family dynamic in meaningful and individual ways. Father's play a crucial role in the development of children for specific reasons as do mothers, for other reasons. We need both of those roles to be fulfilled.

    We also discussed the concept of marriage and starting a family. Many people believe that you need to wait to have children until you have done all you want to do in life. I believe this is a false notion. Being married only a little under two years, people think it is crazy that we have a 5 month old daughter. I don't blame them! Before I was married, I thought I needed to follow all the advice I had been given to wait as long as possible. When in reality, when I have kids, is none of their business! I felt that the decision to start having kids was to be made between me, my husband, and the Lord. We were prayerful in making that choice. I was nervous, scared and excited when I felt the impression to move forward with starting a family. I was hesitant because I was sure that I was going to be judged and certain that I would be missing out on life. However, during pregnancy my thoughts began shifting. I noticed a shift in my desires and my priorities. When our daughter was born and the many weeks and months following, our lives had been changed. We no longer focused on ourselves, but gave extra attention to one another and our sweet baby. We recognized areas that we could improve in more quickly. We became more excited about teaching Elle new things and seeing her grow every day. The things we thought were so important in life, became bottom on our list of priorities. We saw more clearly the future we wanted to build. We didn't feel like we were missing anything in life, it certainly was not and is not passing us by. Parenthood is the best thing, and I would recommend it to everyone! I would be so bold as to say that life doesn't truly begin until you have children. I know there are cases where people are unable to have children, and my heart goes out to them. I am in no way calling them out or seeking to hurt them in any way. I am addressing those who may feel that having kids is a burden, an inconvenience and too hard. There are so many priceless lessons to be learned and so much personal growth that lies just behind the doors of parenthood. We know that we are here on earth to prepare to meet God. We are preparing to become like Him. He is a Father, first and foremost. We too should seek for that high and noble calling so we can better understand Him and emulate His character.

    I will put aside my soapbox now, but I will advocate for parenthood until I die. I am so grateful that I have a little family that pushes me every day. I am grateful for the person I have becoming and how it continues to mold me. As time goes on we all find what matters most to us. When we are new college students, partying and dating is what we hope for. Getting to know people and having fun. Soon that changes to finding stability and a healthy relationship. That then blossoms into commitment and settling down, and so on. In each stage we give up something we enjoy and something that is comfortable for something so much better and so much more fulfilling. As is it with marriage and becoming a parent.